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Walter Sobchak : That, fuckin' - bitch The Dude : It's all a god damn fake, man. It's like Lenin said: you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh, you know Donny : I am the walrus.
The Dude : You know, you'll uh, uh - well, you know what I'm trying' to say Walter Sobchak : That fucking bitch!
The Dude : Oh yeah! Walter Sobchak : Shut the fuck up, Donny! Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov! Donny : What the fuck is he talking about?
Walter Sobchak : I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death The Dude : Will you come off it, Walter?
You're not even fucking Jewish, man. Walter Sobchak : What the fuck are you talkin' about? The Dude : Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic Walter Sobchak : What the fuck are you talking about?
I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude! The Dude : Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Walter Sobchak : And you know this! The Dude : Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.
Walter Sobchak : So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license?
You stop being Jewish? The Dude : It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue.
You're living in the fucking past. Walter Sobchak : Am I wrong? The Dude : No you're not wrong. The Dude : You're not wrong Walter.
You're just an asshole. Walter Sobchak : Okay then. The Dude : Walter, ya know, it's Smokey, so his toe slipped over the line a little, big deal.
It's just a game, man. Walter Sobchak : Dude, this is a league game, this determines who enters the next round robin. Am I wrong? Smokey : Yeah, but I wasn't over.
Gimme the marker Dude, I'm marking it 8. The Dude : Walter Walter Sobchak : You mark that frame an 8, and you're entering a world of pain.
Smokey : I'm not Walter Sobchak : A world of pain. Smokey : Dude, he's your partner Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?
Mark it zero! The Dude : They're calling the cops, put the piece away. Walter Sobchak : Mark it zero! Smokey : All right, it's fucking zero.
Are you happy, you crazy fuck? Walter Sobchak It's a league game, Smokey. Walter Sobchak : That rug really tied the room together, did it not?
The Dude : Fuckin' A. Donny : And this guy peed on it. Walter Sobchak : Donny, please. The Dude : Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the fuck are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak : Huh? No, what the fuck are you I'm not We're talking about unchecked aggression here, dude.
The Dude : My rug. Walter Sobchak : Forget it, Donny, you're out of your element! The Dude : Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?
The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature.
Asian-American, please. The Dude : Walter, this isn't a guy who built the railroads here. This is a guy Walter Sobchak : What the fuck are you?
The Dude : Walter, he peed on my rug! Donny : He peed on the Dude's rug. Walter Sobchak : Donny you're out of your element!
Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here! Walter Sobchak : Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling. Donny : What?
Walter Sobchak : Were you listening to The Dude's story? Donny : I was bowling. Walter Sobchak : So you have no frame of reference here, Donny.
You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know The Dude : interrupting Walter, Walter, what's the point, man?
Walter Sobchak : There's no reason - here's my point, dude, there's no fucking reason why these two Donny : Yeah, Walter, what's your point?
Donny : Those are good burgers, Walter. The Dude : Just take it easy man. Walter Sobchak : I'm perfectly calm Dude. Walter Sobchak : Calmer than you are.
The Dude : Will you just take it easy? Walter Sobchak : Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck so that you and I could enjoy this family restaurant!
The Dude : What are you, a fucking park ranger now? Walter Sobchak : No, I'm The Dude : Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot!
Walter Sobchak : You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
The Dude : Yeah, but Walter Walter Sobchak : Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon These fucking amateurs The Dude : What's in the fuckin' carrier?
Oh, that's Cynthia's dog. I think it's a Pomeranian. I can't leave him home alone or he eats the furniture.
I'm watching him while Cynthia and Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii. The Dude : You brought the fuckin' Pomeranian bowling?
Walter Sobchak : What do you mean brought it bowling, Dude? I didn't rent it shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer.
He's not taking your fucking turn, Dude. The Dude : Man, if my fuckin' ex-wife asked me to take care of her fuckin' dog while she and her boyfriend went to Honolulu I'd tell her to go fuck herself.
Walter Sobchak : Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time.
In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill These young men gave their lives.
And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well.
Good night, sweet prince. Walter Sobchak : I told that fuck down at the league office Donny : Burkhalter. Walter Sobchak : I told that kraut a fucking thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!
Donny : They already posted it. The Dude : Who gives a shit! They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! What am I gonna tell Lebowski?
Walter Sobchak : C'mon Dude, eventually she'll get sick of her little game and, you know, wander on back.
Donny : How come you don't roll on Saturday, Walter? Walter Sobchak : I'm shomer shabbos. Donny : What's that?
The Dude : Yeah, and in the meantime, what do I tell Lebowski? Donny : Sheesh. Walter Sobchak : Shomer shabbos! The Dude : Walter, how am I going to Walter Sobchak : Shomer fucking shabbos.
The Dude : Oh fuck it. I'm out of here. Walter Sobchak : Come on, Dude The Dude : Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car.
Nihilist : Ve vant ze money, Lebowski. Nihilist 2 : Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze girl. Nihilist 3 : Ja, it seems you have forgotten our little deal, Lebowski.
We know you never did! Donny : Are these the Nazis, Walter? Walter Sobchak : No, Donny, these men are nihilists, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Nihilist : Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money, Lebowski, or ve fuck you ups. Walter Sobchak : Fuck you.
Fuck the three of you. The Dude : Hey, cool it Walter. Walter Sobchak : No, without a hostage, there is no ransom.
That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules. Nihilist 2 : His girlfriend gave up her toe! Nihilist 3 : She though we'd be getting million dollars!
Nihilist 2 : Iss not fair! Walter Sobchak : Fair! Look, pal, there never was any money. The big Lebowski gave me an empty briefcase, so take it up with him, man!
Walter Sobchak : And, I would like my undies back. Donny : Are they gonna hurt us, Walter? Walter Sobchak : No, Donny. These men are cowards.
Nihilist : Okay. So we take ze money you haf on you, und ve calls it eefen. Walter Sobchak : Fuck you! Smokey : Huh?
Walter Sobchak : I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line, that's a foul. Smokey : Bullshit. Mark it 8, Dude.
Walter Sobchak : Uh, excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame. Smokey : Bullshit, Walter. Walter Sobchak : Smokey, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling.
There are rules. Walter Sobchak : When we make the handoff, I double back, grab one of 'em and beat it out of him!
The Dude : That's a great plan, Walter. That's fuckin' ingenious, if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss fuckin' watch.
Walter Sobchak : Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework, Larry? The Dude : Look, man Walter Sobchak : Dude, please?
The Dude : Just ask him about the car. Walter Sobchak : Is this yours, Larry? The Dude : Is that your car out front? The Dude : We know it's his fucking homework!
Where's the fucking money, you little brat? Walter Sobchak : Look, Larry. Have you ever heard of Vietnam? The Dude : Oh, for Christ's sake, Walter Walter Sobchak : You're entering a world of pain, son.
We know that this is your homework. We know that you stole a car. The Dude : And the fucking money. Walter Sobchak : And the fucking money.
And, we know that this is your homework. The Dude : We're going to cut your dick off, Larry. Walter Sobchak : You're killing your father, Larry!
Walter Sobchak : Now that is just ridiculous, Dude. Nobody is going to cut your dick off. Not if I have anything to say about it.
The Dude : Thank you Walter, that makes me feel very secure, it makes me feel very warm inside. Walter Sobchak : Really, Dude, you surprise me.
They're not gonna kill shit, they're not gonna do shit. What can they do? They're a bunch of fuckin' amateurs, and meanwhile, look at the bottom line: Who's sittin' on a million fuckin' dollars?
The Dude : Walter? Walter Sobchak : Who's got a fuckin' million fuckin' dollars sittin' in the trunk of our car? The Dude : Our car, Walter?
Walter Sobchak : And whadda they got? My dirty undies My fucking whites The portable phone starts ringing].
Walter Sobchak : Say, dude. Where is your car? Donny : Who's got your undies, Walter? Walter Sobchak : Where's your car, dude?
The Dude : You don't know, Walter? He owned a small security business. Sobchak was a member of The Dude's bowling team. Walter was very passionate about bowling, to the point that he would flash a piece out on the lanes if things were not going his way.
Walter tended to be very loud and obnoxious, yelling and swearing in places where such activity was frowned upon.
He was hot tempered and quick to resort to violence. When The Dude got mixed up with the other Jeffrey Lebowski and the disappearance of that Jeffrey's wife Bunny Lebowski, Walter tried to help his friend but generally screwed up in his attempts to help The Dude, making the situation worse.
Walter, Donny, and The Dude were confronted by German nihilists in the parking lot of the local bowling alley.
Walter managed to defeat the German nihilists but Donny suffered a fatal heart attack in the process.
Walter and The Dude gathered to remember Donny but he still screwed up the scattering of Donny's ashes. After apologizing to the Dude he said, "Fuck it, let's go bowling.
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